Sorting process.

Today is Day 3 in Barcelona, and I have a mix of emotions in my heart that I haven't really acknowledged yet. However, in an email to my dear friend Anne, I was able to sort out some of it... Here's an excerpt:

"i feel like i should have exciting stories to share from barcelona, but my time here, so far, has been pretty low-key. i'm slowly adjusting to the time change (yesterday i woke up at 2 pm here, today 11:30 am). honestly, i would be more inspired to wander through the streets if there was someone here to wander with! also, i think there are several elements coming into play:

1. language shock
i've been speaking 95% spanish since i've been here, which is great, but draining when i can't express myself fully.

2. culture shock
i want to "experience" spain, but still find it difficult to even consider eating meat (which is mostly on all the menus of regular restaurants that i've walked past). yesterday i ate palak paneer at a pakistani restaurant. it was very comforting to be eating punjabi food and listening to punjabi music.
it's funny because i never felt this kind of culture shock in asia. although barcelona is reminiscent of nyc in some ways (big city, sewage smells, shopping centers, metro), i feel like a foreigner. maybe it's also because this is day 3, and i have no idea where to go, what to do, or how to navigate the streets!
also, i don't know how to use a pay phone and i didn't know the numeral for "1" here.

3. traveling alone
i met with emma (a girl from barcelona) in nyc, and she was in nyc for 4 days by herself, but then she was meeting with friends from spain in san francisco and going on a roadtrip with them before returning to spain.
to me, this sounds fine. but right now i wonder if i'll make friends here. everyone keeps telling me how rural and more conservative almería is, to hide my tattoos and such.

4. finances
wow!! it's expensive here! i don't start getting paid in euros until october 1st... i guess it's good that i'll be living in a tiny town so i don't spend all my money right now.
being here makes me realize what a consumer i am, and how i take it for granted in the u.s... in portland, i can get a cup of coffee or inexpensive lunch without thinking much about it. but can't carelessly spend here.

despite this long list, i am excited to be here, and determined to learn spanish and dispel my fears. and, besides, this is what traveling is for, right? puts hair on the chest!"